If I can only get one thing across to a twenty year looking for love it is this:
DO NOT LOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO SHARES YOUR INTERESTS !!
LOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO SHARES YOUR VALUES !!
Your interests will change over time and so will theirs.
Your looks will change over time and so will theirs.
Your initial excitement and electricity will diminish (this is chemical, not your fault)
A person’s character and values are more permanent.
And by the way, you will develop shared interests over time even if you didn’t at first.
The four most important values that you must share before getting married are as follows:
If you don’t agree on how this is to be handled, you are walking into a disastrous marriage. Don’t just talk about money, but observe how your partner handles theirs. If you don’t believe in debt, you better make sure your future spouse doesn’t. If you believe in sharing funds, make sure your partner does. If you are careful with your spending, make sure your partner is. If you don’t share values on this, don’t even think of getting married.
Most of our values come from our faith. If you have a different faith from your significant other, than you will probably have very different values. The only way for a relationship to work well across religious lines is if one of you doesn’t care about their faith. Of course, then we have a different problem. There is a reason the Holy Bible advises against being “unequally yoked”. (Yes, a Baptist can marry a MethodistJ)
God made fathers and mothers for a reason. Both are necessary in raising a child despite what any pinko-communist-liberal-psycho analyst may have to say about the matter. Ladies be aware that fathers will be harder on your baby boy than you will be. He is helping him become a man. Men, you need to spend time with your children, not just earn the pay check and do the yard work. If your dream fiancé doesn’t get these two basic concepts, then run from them!
Okay, you have found the right person for you. You share all the right values and get along great. But then enters your mother-in-law who thinks their baby deserves much better than you. If you don’t think a difficult in-law can break up a marriage then you need to think again. If you hate your spouse’s parents (no matter how much they may deserve it) than you will be hurting your spouse very deeply. This is one of those moments that you need to learn to suck it up and deal! Sorry, but the other answer is dividing your spouse from their family.
Lastly, remember that the person you marry will be your life partner. That means they are to be the most important person in your life. More than your family, more than your friends, and even more than your children. (Children will grow up and leave, your spouse will share your life with you)